Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Dr. Michelle Bengtson

265 How To Overcome Parent-Child Relationship Problems: Tackling the Emotional Minefield

May 9, 2024 ● 39 min

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Episode Summary:

The numbers don’t lie. 2.8 million adolescents between 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode. This is changing and it’s not all related to the pandemic. There is increase in drug use, sexual activity, addiction to phones, gaming, and social media. Today’s kids function more emotionally than they do logically. This is the reason that the information we give them, the decisions we desire for them to make and the boundaries we employ seem to bounce off their forehead. Join me with Jeff Schadt for how to overcome parent-child relationship problems and tackle the emotional minefield.

Quotables from the episode:

2.8 million adolescents between 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode.
We need to step out of fear as parents because fear typically leads to negative reactions and poor decisions.
Love is the best boundary that parents can instill.
Love is the one boundary that opposes evil while producing a sense of safety that results in openness, listening, learning, growth, faith, and true fellowship.
We need to reevaluate the externally focused outcomes-based approach to parenting that relies on external motivation to move kids in the right direction.
Research suggests that consequences for negative behavior motivates children to lie to cover up their mistakes.
In the Bible, the term discipline has its root in teaching and training, not punishing.
The number one complaint about the family from kids today is that they don’t feel loved by their parents.
Negative core beliefs begin in children by the age of three, four, or five years of age.
Love trumps the power of temptation. If enough of us caught onto the power of love, we could see a generation raised up that would not succumb to temptation but transform the nation.
Far too many of us, kids included, carry what I have deemed as emotional road rash in our hearts.
Parents tend to parent from either of two extremes: avoiding conflict by trying to be their child’s friend and enable their behavior OR parenting using high control and fear through rules and consequences.
Since kids cannot assign fault to parents, they internalize all the shortcomings and behavioral issues that are thrust upon them as being their fault, which is why they often take responsibility when their parents divorce.
You need to focus on and celebrate the progress rather than seek perfection…our focus on behavior versus healing is at the core of the weakness in how we raise our kids.