Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

Dana Che

Q & A: How to Say No to Sex Without Feeling Bad

March 21, 2025   ●   8 min

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It's a common dilemma in marriage: how to turn your spouse down for sexy time without feeling guilty. What do you do when one spouse isn't in the mood for sex yet doesn't want to hurt the other's feelings? That's the question of one listener who shared her experience and sought advice on saying no without guilt.

Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding Your Feelings: Take a self-assessment to identify why you might not be in the mood. Factors could include tiredness, stress, or emotional disconnect.

  • The Power of Honesty: It’s crucial to communicate openly and kindly with your spouse about your feelings. A simple, honest conversation can prevent feelings of rejection.

  • Offering Alternative Connections: Suggesting other forms of intimacy, such as cuddling or a massage, can help maintain the bond with your spouse without feeling pressured into having sex.

  • Checking Emotional Responses: For the spouse who feels turned down, it’s important to reflect on one’s emotional response to ensure that sex doesn’t become an idol in the relationship.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Reeling from an affair? Get my Affair Recovery Checklist & begin your healing journey today.

Ep. 21 - When You're Not in the Mood for Sex

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