Everyone needs some comic relief, but movies that seem funny often end up being too crude and full of inappropriate language and themes. Some of the best movies came out years ago before enhanced digital imaging and HDTV.
"The Truth": Proverbs 15:15 “All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.”
Rated PG
Best Quotes
Cardinal Richelieu: “All for one. And more for me.”
Porthos: “Did I miss anyone?”
Aramis: “Congratulations, Porthos. You brought down the house.”
Porthos: “Oh, drat. I was trying to hit Rochefort.”
Rated PG
Best Quotes
Gus: “Instructions; you start with 1... 2... 3...”
Larry: “4?”
Gus: “Are you crackin' wise? I oughta punch you in the nose, Hopscotch.”
Rated PG
Best Quotes
Phil Weston: “I was born a baby, a blank slate. I thought I was in control of my own destiny, and then I met my dad.”
Referee: “Where do I know you from?”
Phil Weston: “I've been your neighbor for the last seven years!”
Referee: “No, that ain’t it.”
Phil Weston: “That’s definitely it!”
Referee: “I’ll figure it out.”
Rated PG
Best Quotes
Tony Perkins: “You picked the wrong man to mess with.”
Josh: [sarcastically] “Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!”
Pat Finley: “Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here?”
Roy: “Don't put twinkies on your pizza!”
Rated PG
Best Quotes
Phil: “This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”
Phil: “What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?”
Ralph: “That about sums it up for me.”
Phil: “Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes and one large coke.”
Ralph: [to Phil] “And some flapjacks.”
Phil: [to Cop] “Too early for flapjacks?”
"The Truth": Proverbs 14:13 “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.”
Rated PG
Richard Dreyfuss plays Dr. Leo Marvin who is a successful psychotherapist who is about to go on vacation, but agrees to see patient Bob Wiley, played by Bill Murray, before he leaves. Bob has panic attacks when trying to accomplish small tasks, like leaving his apartment. The initial appointment goes well, but Bob freaks out after learning that Dr. Marvin is going to be gone through the summer. He ends up stalking Dr. Marvin on vacation and meets his family. Mrs. Marvin and their daughter and son end up really liking Bob, which drives Dr. Marvin to insanity.
Favorite Quotes
Bob Wiley: “…baby step onto the elevator... baby step into the elevator... I'm *in* the elevator.”
[doors closes]
Bob Wiley: “AHHHHHHH!”
Dr. Leo Marvin: “You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole point! He's never gone!
[Leo opens the door; there's Bob]
Bob Wiley: “Is this some radical new therapy?”
Dr. Leo Marvin: “YOU SEE?”
Rated PG
Toula Portokalos is from the typical strong Greek family who is outspoken and loud. She meets her dream guy Ian Miller who is far from Greek, but he makes her happy and she knows he’s mister right. They manage to keep their relationship a secret, but as they become more serious, Toula’s family finds out. Everyone in the family carries a strong opinion of why she should or should not be with this guy, and drives Toula crazy! Will Ian endure the family traditions and pressure while planning the wedding?
Best Quotes
Maria Portokalos: “Nicko! Don’t play with the food! When I was your age, we didn’t have food!”
Gus Portokalos: “You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo," which is mean "apple," so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word "portokali," which mean "orange." So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit.”
Rated PG
Can two dads run a daycare? Charlie Hinton and Phil attempt to as a last resort to make an income. The children end up running the two in circles! This is a great family-friendly comedy that the kids will enjoy.
Best Quotes
Charlie Hinton: “Today we need some organization and planned activities.”
Phil: “No. We need Ritalin and leaches, that’s what we need.”
Charlie Hinton: “Ok, you're gonna go out straight for a pass, and I want you to be my blocker. You're gonna come across and cut left and I'll...”
Max: “How 'bout we just run in a circle?”
Charlie Hinton: “...Yeah, OK, that's a better idea! How 'bout we just aaaall run in a circle?”
Rated PG
Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway fans, get ready to laugh as these two childhood best friends become bridezilla rivals when their wedding days are accidentally scheduled for the same day. Emma is always the one that gives into Liv, but she has mustered the strength to stand firm not to bend to Liv’s demands.
Best Quotes
Daniel: “They haven't spoken in a week. That's like a century in girl years.”
Marion St. Claire: “A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now. Were you aware of that? You're dead right now.
Emma: “I understand.”
Marion St. Claire: “Angela, for example, will die dead.”
Rated PG
This movie never gets old! Buttercup and Westley are young and in love, but become separated. Westley finds himself on a daring adventure trying to rescue Buttercup and it provides mildly cheesy laughs along the way as they finally make it to the alter.
Best Quotes
Inigo Montoya: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
The Impressive Clergyman: “Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam…”
The Impressive Clergyman: “…an do you, Pwincess Buwwercup…”
Prince Humperdinck: “Man and wife. Say man and wife.”
The Impressive Clergyman: “Man an’ wife.”
I guarantee that if you watch every one of these movies you will be in a better mood and you will have new quotes to memorize. Gather the family (or friends), make some fresh popcorn, stay up late and experience a laugh together.