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Top 10 Christian Jokes: Clean Humor For A Good Laugh

May 17, 2013

Top 10 Christian Jokes:  Clean Humor For A Good Laugh

A good joke can bring healing to your soul.  Laughter is an important part of life and when it is coupled with Christian comedians you are bound to be rolling on the floor!  There are many talented Christian comedians out today and their sense of humor truly comes from God.  Here is a look at 10 of the best Christian jokes out there!

10.  Brad Stine

Brad did a show in Virginia and was telling the audience how awesome they are because they go to church, hunt and fish and they don’t feel bad for it.  Then he says, “You’re not a bunch of people lock-stepped with the politically correct.  Oh no!  Don’t shoot the animals!  They might get their feelings hurt!”

9.  Chonda Pierce

“Are there any Methodists in here?”  The Methodists shout out.  “Shouting Methodists?  You know God’s coming back!”

8.  Anita Renfroe

When talking about “to do lists” she touches on how many times they don’t even get started or finished.  She then brings God into the equation and says, “Apparently God had days like this in mind when he created air because it’s right here under your nose.  Otherwise you wouldn’t remember to breathe.  There’s no time for that.  It would be like: 2 o’clock I’ve got an inhale there.  At 3:15 maybe exhale there.  And could you tell my bladder to hold?”

7.  Mark Lowery

“When growing up my mamma would say, ‘Mark!  I’ve just about had enough!’  I’d say, well help yourself!   There’s plenty more!”

6.  Tim Hawkins

One of his comedy bits involves talking about things we heard growing up in prayer and now we say them because we think that’s what we’re supposed to do, even if they sound a little quirky. 

“Have you ever heard ‘a hedge of protection’?  Dan we are building a hedge of protection around you buddy.  That’s right!  A hedge around you and your whole family.”

“A hedge, huh?  I don’t mean to complain, but is that the best you can do?  How about a thick cement wall?”

5.  Bob Smiley

On a bit on marriage Bob talks about how he’s been married for 8 years and he says, “It’s definitely the best decision she’s ever made for me.”

"The Truth" Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

4.  Brad Stine

He has a bit on being a man and having a feminine side.  He says, “That’s all I ever heard man.  Find your feminine side.  You ever once heard a woman be told, ‘find your male side’?  ‘Find your machoness.’  A girl acts like a girl and she is rewarded.  A boy acts like a boy and he’s given Ritalin.”

3.  Ken Davis

In one of Ken’s comedy bits he asks how many young people are in the crowd.  Afterwards he says, “You just enjoy it because someday you’re gonna get older and strange stuff is gonna happen to you.  You’ll walk into a room and make a little circle like a dog looking for a place to lay down cuz you’re trying to remember why you came into the stupid room.”

2.  Dennis Swanberg

Dennis talks about the church he grew up in as a kid.  While sitting in the back of the church he was trying hard to pay attention to the preacher.

“He was that old style preacher and he said, ‘what should we do?’, and I said, ‘bless his heart.  He don’t know.  Someone needs to help that man.”

1.  Chonda Pierce

“I think God is bigger than what’s going on with the chemistry of my brain.  He knew menopause was gonna come along.  That’s why Eve had to leave the garden.”

Bonus Joke

Two little boys were best friends at church, but they both had a reputation for getting into trouble. One Sunday, one of the boys was home sick, but the other boy, not wanting to let his friend down, was twice as bad as normal.

As he was running through the sanctuary after church, the pastor grabbed him and angrily said, "Where's God?!"

The little boy was frightened and didn't know what to say.

The pastor continued, "I want you to go home and think about it and I don't want you to come back until you can tell me where God is."

The boy went home and called his sick friend on the telephone. "Guess what," he said. "They've lost God, and they're trying to blame that one on us, too."

Conclusion

The world of Christian comedians is booming and it is such a blessing to have them using their talents for God.  I hope you have enjoyed this list of my top 10 best Christian jokes.  If you know any, please feel free to comment below.  God bless you!

Resources- The Holy Bible, English Standard Version“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”, www.youtube.com, Resources- The Holy Bible, English Standard Version“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

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