My daughter recently turned 4, and we threw our first party for her and her friends. Previously, we had just limited the guests to family members. Naturally we were careful to invite the entire class, so that no one would feel left out. Of the 12 kids who were invited, only 3 classmates attended the party, and I just chalked it up to the usual reasons. I figured the kids that didn’t come were already busy that day.
Don’t worry - there was plenty of family in attendance, so the party was a hit. But when I read this mom’s letter on The Mighty, it made me wonder if there could possibly be other reasons for some of the absences. Birthday parties have always been a fond memory from my own childhood. So it was heartbreaking to learn that they are a sense of angst for some moms. But it also gave an eye opening perspective that I thought I’d share with you.
“Dear (Super Cool) Mom,
You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but my son, Timothy, sometimes sits beside your son at school.
Timothy has severe autism spectrum disorder. He is also a 7-year-old little boy who loves and plays with all of his heart. He needs a lot of extra help at school and sometimes seems just plain oblivious to what’s happening right underneath his nose.
He wants friends but sometimes doesn’t know how to make them.
He wants to play but sometimes doesn’t know how to ask.
He wants to be included but sometimes doesn’t know how.
We parents of children with special needs know only too well the hurt our kids feel when they are left out of the social gatherings.
Organized sports, play dates, sleepovers and yes, the dreaded birthday parties.
I can say wholeheartedly that my son has not attended a single one. We have received countless invitations in the past few years, but mostly by kids who mercilessly invite the entire class. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful.
But I wonder if the parents know what would happen if I brought Timothy? The interruptions, the meltdowns. How I would hate to take the spotlight from the birthday child.
So we politely decline. Every single one.
Until your invitation arrived in the mail with a special note. It read:
‘Carter sat beside Timothy at school and he always talks about him. I really hope he can come. We are renting a bounce castle that we can attach a small bounce slide at the bottom. We will also have water balloon’s and water guns. Maybe Timothy can come earlier in the day if it would be too much with the whole class. Let me know how we can make it work.’
You wrote exactly what I needed to see that day and didn’t even know it.
Because of your son he is included.
Because of your son he feels wanted.
Because of your son he has a voice.
And I want you to know that because of you I can get through another day.
Because of you I can get through another appointment.
Because of you I can take more stares and more questions.
Because of you I have hope for Timothy’s future.
I just wanted to tell you what a fantastic job you are doing with your son.
This mom will be RSVPing a heck yes for the first time ever. And I can’t wait.
Sincerely,
Timothy’s very grateful Mom
I found this letter utterly inspiring. First of all, it was amazing to see what a huge impact one small act of kindness could have. But it also reminded me that we never know what others might be going through at any given time. But God is always ready to use us. He regularly gives us opportunities -- both big and small -- to impact the lives of others.
This letter encouraged me to try to reach out to those around me. To try to think about what I can do to help make someone else’s day just a little bit lighter. Because for all you know, that small act you do for your neighbor may be just what they need in that moment!
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credit: The Mighty