Mom Shunned By Friends After Her Son Was Stillborn Speaks Out
August 17, 2017
"All my life, my body has been failing me. Now the odds were stacked against us to have a child. I was heartbroken and took it really hard," Mary explained.Mary suffered from a low ovarian reserve and Dan had a low sperm count. Together, that made the odds of the couple conceiving naturally very slim. But as the couple began preparing for in-vitro fertilization (IVF), they got a wonderful surprise. Somehow, Mary conceived naturally!
Joy Turns To Heartache
Needless to say, they were over the moon. But at 38 weeks, the excitement came crashing to a halt. Doctors discovered Mary's little boy no longer had a heartbeat."I didn't believe it at first. It didn't sink in," Mary said. "All I could think was, 'I've been through so much, and my body's let me down again'."Mary gave birth to a stillborn son they named Johnny. Holding him was both wonderful and heartbreaking all at once.
"We held Johnny, spending as much time as we could with him," Mary recalls. "Our family came and spent time with him, having a cuddle with Johnny."RELATED: Florida Issues Birth Certificates For Parents Grieving Miscarriages Going home empty handed was devastating.
"I couldn't face anyone, not even my family. I had a caesarian. But the pain of the caesarian is nothing compared to losing my baby. I didn't feel a thing," Mary said.It's a time you'd expect the couple to be showered with love. But to Mary's bitter surprise, most of her friend's steered clear.
Johnny's life was so short, but it was still a life. And he was so loved. That's what Mary wants people to understand about her stillborn son."After Johnny I lost some friends, who I thought were close to me, because they didn't want to come and see me. They didn't know how to react," she explained. "And that's heartbreaking. The one thing I wanted to do more than anything was talk about Johnny because I was so proud to have had him. He was a beautiful little boy."
Breaking The Silence
Sadly, there seems to be an unspoken stigma around miscarriages and stillbirths. People just won't talk about it because it's so hard. And as a result, the poor parents often carry the pain in silence. Their loss is kept secret, and so is the beautiful life they lost. RELATED: When You Can’t Have Kids, It’s Not Wrong To Be Sad It took Mary two years to get up the courage to share her story. But she's doing so in the hopes of shedding light on the "taboo" topic of stillbirth and miscarriages. More couples sharing their stories will help give others insight into what they're experiencing. And hopefully it will encourage others to show support and love, rather than to just avoid those experiencing such a painful loss. You can find tips on how to care for a mother who's lost a child HERE.Silver Lining
After Johnny's passing, Mary and Dan decided to try again, this time using IVF. Amazingly, the very first treatment was a complete success, and Mary became pregnant with another son. This time, though, Mary just couldn't get excited. She feared having another stillborn son. RELATED: How To Care For A Mother Who’s Lost A Child Their rainbow baby, Sam, was 5 weeks premature and spent 2 weeks in an incubator. But the little fighter pulled through and has been every bit of the blessing the couple longed for. Credit: Daily Mail Sam brings so much joy, but of course, the couple will never forget Johnny."The heartbreak of suffering a stillbirth is far more painful than anything I experienced with my arthritis, or with the countless operations I've had," Mary said. "I didn't think for one minute that it would happen to us. I didn't think that a baby could die at 38 weeks. But you're not a failure. You're not an embarrassment. And we need to be more honest when it does happen. It's taken me two years to pluck up the courage to share my story. I want to talk about the son I lost, and get others talking about it too. I want to shine a light on stillbirth. It's such a taboo thing and because it's a sad thing to talk about people don't want to open up."h/t: Daily Mail YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Cashier’s Act Of Kindness For Grieving Mother Goes Viral
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A Prayer for Those Who Are Lonely or Isolated This Christmas - Your Daily Prayer - December 23
This Christmas, remember how precious you are to the Creator. Remember that there is nothing you can do or say that would ever separate His presence and love from you. It’s okay to go through Christmas feeling alone and isolated, but make sure you turn to God to fill those feelings of loneliness.
Today's Devotional
A Prayer for Those Who Are Lonely or Isolated This Christmas - Your Daily Prayer - December 23
This Christmas, remember how precious you are to the Creator. Remember that there is nothing you can do or say that would ever separate His presence and love from you. It’s okay to go through Christmas feeling alone and isolated, but make sure you turn to God to fill those feelings of loneliness.
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