"I'm not going to post much about my son. Jacqueline Willford will do all that when she gets better. On July 7, 2016 at 12:13 AM my wife was dying. She just had an emergency C-section and went into shock. I stood by her head while she was bleeding out and remembered every fight we ever had and the things I never did for her. I couldn't let her know how scared I was. I stood in front of my wife saying my final good bye! What do you say to someone knowing it's going to be the last time you talk to them? RELATED: Husband gets a second chance at love I tried so hard to comfort her and tell her everything is okay. I tried to smile and pretend that it's all part of the operation. They called a code blue and people started rushing into the room. She was shaking so much!!!I kissed her and asked God 'please don't take her home.'
I thought about all the times I missed church at Way of life. I thought about how to tell my new family the bad news. So much was going through my mind that I had no time to enjoy my son. I had to be strong for my family. I had to put the weight upon my shoulders and walk with this load of having my wife pass in the operating room.I didn't know what to say.
I didn't want to pray because I thought God would shun me for not being a good Christian. I was so sorry and asked God if somehow he could just hear this last request. I was rushed to a different room and waited for about 10 mins. Jackie finally showed up and my heart was so so so so heavy with grief. I wanted to pick her up and carry her out of the hospital as if everything would be fine. I wanted to leave and have this nightmare be over! [rsnippet id="2"] I stood with Jackie for about 3 minutes and the worst happened. She lost about 1 litter of blood in a couple seconds. I didn't say anything, I was so scared. I just looked at my wife and couldn't utter a word. I wanted to say I love you and tell her it's okay. I wanted to help her as much as I could. I wanted to stop everything and start all over again. I knew she was dying in front of me.They called another code blue!
This time my heart stopped. I thought why didn't I pray every night! Why didn't I love her like God has loved me! I died in that room! I truly died! I didn't know what to do again. I watched helplessly as they tried to save my wife. People were running and pushing me farther away from her. She finally uttered a word and it was like the room went silent. She asked for some water and I knew she was leaving earth. They took me and my newborn son to another room.As we were walking I saw my mom and family.
I wanted so hard for someone to hold me. I wanted someone to carry me like a kid and tell me it's gonna be okay. I didn't want to be a man anymore. I wanted to cry! I wanted to cry out to God and ask him why! RELATED: New mom is awakened from a coma when she hears her baby cry I stood by my family for about 2 minutes looking at everyone and holding back all of my emotions. My mother asked me "how is Jackie?" I almost lost it and cried like a baby. I just shrugged my shoulders and said I don't know yet. I was lying, I knew she was in really bad shape. I wanted to run back in the room and hold her but I had to take care of my son now. He had to be given antibiotics to prevent an infection from starting. After about 5 minutes I asked the nurses if I can go see my wife and they reluctantly said yes. The hallway to where my wife was is about 40 yards. I walked about 5 yards and started crying alone. I couldn't keep up this persona for much longer. I was scared to walk back and hear the news. I wanted my dad to comfort me! I'm still his little boy!I had around 30 something yards to walk and God spoke to me.
'Gabriel my son I love you more than you can imagine. I heard you and I was there! I saw the c section. I helped the doctors find the problem. I saw when she hemorrhaged and made sure they caught it really quick. I was waiting for you in this hallway when you wanted your father. It's okay to call on me. I will always love you. Just as you asked to save your wife. I've been asking my father to save yours.' I walked with more love in my heart for everything in that moment.Credit: Facebook / Dawson Willford My wife and son are doing great and will be discharged Sunday. If you see me at church don't ask me where I have been. Just say I'm glad to see you're home! Gabriel Willford"