Ex-porn star Crissy Moran (now Crissy Outlaw) could have continued making "unlimited amounts of money." But none of it filled the emptiness she felt inside. In desperation, she cried out to God and He saved her from the adult film industry!
"I never planned on going into the sex industry, never thought of it as an option," she said.But a string of hard knocks eventually dropped Crissy right into the adult film industry. And her incredible testimony just goes to show how God's love and grace can restore anyone and anything.
"I feel isolated and alone," she said. "I started to find that having relationships with men filled this emptiness I had."At 17, Crissy gave her virginity to her boyfriend.
"He told me that if he ever got me pregnant that we would get married and have our baby," she said. "The desire in my heart - deeper than anything I ever felt - was that I wanted to be mom and a wife. I wasn't very careful when it came to being sexual with this person."RELATED: A Sexual Abuse Victim Shares 13 Powerful Lessons On Healing But when Crissy wound up pregnant, her boyfriend changed his tune. He convinced her to get an abortion and then broke up with her.
"As a 17 year old girl who wanted nothing more than to have a family, it totally broke my heart," she said. "The depression that I had increased, the feelings of unworthiness increased."
"I never felt good enough for the men I dated," she confessed. "I didn't feel beautiful because they looked at porn during sex with me."These types of unhealthy relationships kept pushing Crissy further and further down the wrong path.
"I thought, am I not good enough for you that you can't only look at me? I felt worthless to the point that I chose porn and I said, 'One day I'm going to be one of the girls you watch on screen.'"Crissy posted her picture on a web page calling for models, and before long, found herself fully immersed in the adult film industry. [/slide]
“I was making $15,000 a month just from my website,” she says. “I had months I made another $5,000 to $7,000 from shooting if I wanted to, easily. Sometimes I did phone calls for $9.99 a minute, autographed photos, panties, I’ve done that, too. There’s unlimited amounts of money I could have made.”Even with all the money, Crissy wasn't happy. Deep down, she hated her life.
“I always wanted to get out,” she says. “Any time I did a shoot where I took my clothes off, I would feel bad.She kept hoping someone would rescue her, but only found herself in abusive relationship after abusive relationship. Finally, at her wits end, Crissy cried out to Jesus.
"I fell on the ground in the kitchen and I just started crying," she said. "And I was like, 'God, if you're real I need to know; you have to send me a sign so that I know that you're real because everything I know about love is twisted and perverted and just not right."RELATED: Porn Star’s Testimony On Escaping Sexual Abuse To Become A Pastor Crissy spent the night crying and pleading to God for help.
"God was there in the midst, listening to me and hearing my cry," she says.And the very next day, God revealed himself to Crissy.
"You don't have to live like this," he told her. "You can change your life. Jesus can help you, you need to repent and turn away."Chris took Crissy outside and prayed with her. And that's when she knew she was done.
“I had a revelation of God and it changed everything. I had to leave the industry, immediately,” Crissy said.
“Because it was from porn. I wanted a clean break. It was what He told me to do,” she explains. “It felt like the right choice.”
"I made tons of mistakes but entering porn was one of the biggest ones," she said. "This mistake is out there forever but I've come to peace with myself and who God has made me to be."