It’s easier to practice healthy habits of a couple than it is to break bad habits. In order to have the marriage made in heaven, couples only need to have the willingness to start healthy habits. Twenty-one days of practicing a good habit can make it a part of your relationship for the rest of your life together. Your marriage can be made stronger in practicing the following healthy habits:
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6).
As believers we received grace from God even though we’ve done nothing to deserve it. He pours out new grace and mercy on us every day. A great habit to begin in your relationship is giving grace to your loved one. This doesn’t mean you don’t deal with difficult topics—more so, it’s about giving each other a break and trusting in the best in each other instead of looking at the worse.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).
As couples make prayer a regular part of each and every day, the Lord connects them in ways they could’ve never known. They may be separated by distance, but the prayers for each other keeps them strongly united. Praying together also encourages couples to deal with hard issues in love and not the ugliness of the flesh.
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).
It’s important that the saints of God not take each other for granted. Couples must make time for each other every day. The cares of the family, work, or school will always be there—however, time invested in each other will reap a harvest of blessings in the relationship. Memories of joyful interactions will draw couples to overcome many difficulties and stay together.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
Everyone has an opinion, but not every opinion needs to be heard. Wise couples give each other the respect of listening. If one person stops to ask the Lord for discernment and wisdom while the other is speaking, there can be great understanding and peace in the relationship. A good listening habit develops a deeper love and commitment between couples.
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18).
Many couples want to act first and discern difficult situations later. However an attitude of restraint in words and actions can solve more problems than a knee jerk response to an offense. The Holy Spirit knows how to convict His sons and daughters, He doesn’t need a husband or wife’s help in this. Showing restraint reveals your spiritual maturity in the Lord—your ability to hold back allows God to do His greatest work in your spouse’s heart.
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love (Galatians 5:13).
One of the most significant marks of a healthy relationship is how couples are willing to serve each other in their specific gifts. A great relationship is modeled by two people devoted to each other in service as the Lord opens the opportunity. Serving one another is an action-oriented ability that speaks volumes to the spouse on the receiving end.
“Indeed, you are our glory and joy” (1 Thessalonians 2:20).
In this world there’s plenty of scenarios of tragedy, fear, and angry—yet in your healthy habit relationship there can be a demonstration of God’s joy in all situations. The joy of the Lord revealed in a couple’s attitudes towards each other and those who are around them results in a more welcoming environment. Joy breeds a desire in people to know God more personally and joy in your marriage can bring people to Christ.
Your difficulties as a couple didn’t happen overnight and they won’t dissipate easily. However by practicing healthy habits one day at a time, the Lord gives strength and wisdom for a couple to experience enduring love. Begin with seeking the Lord’s direction and wisdom on how to start today living as a healthy, godly couple.
Crystal McDowell is a writer, speaker, and teacher with a passion to encourage believers to know and grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ through practical application of God’s word.
Crystal and her husband, Marshall, raise their five children in the Bloomington, IL. As a freelance writer and editor for over 13 years, Crystal has published numerous Christian curriculums for Sunday School and VBS as well as many articles dealing with marriage, motherhood, and relationships. She’s a weekly staff writer for www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com as well as writing her own blog at http://crystalmcdowellspeaks.blogspot.com.