5 Ways You Are Actually Ruining Your Child's Life
February 10, 2016
Are You Ruining Your Child's Life?
I came across this article from Crosswalk, 5 Ways You Are Ruining Your Child's Life, and had to share. #3 hit me hard. Comment below and let us know what you think!
“You’re mean!”
“You just don’t understand!”
Have you ever wondered if you are doing a terrible job as a parent? We’ve probably all thought that at one time or another. Parenting is a tough job; often times more art than science. Yet the unpopular parenting decisions you make are most likely contributing to your child’s health, not their detriment.
But there are five parenting traps that many well-intentioned modern parents fall into without even knowing it. These attitudes and behaviors easily go undetected because they are ingrained in the culture around us. Let’s consider five ways we as parents may be unwittingly ruining our child's life:
[caption id="attachment_24017" align="aligncenter" width="750"] Credit: ThinkStock[/caption]1. Amusement as the highest priority. We don’t want our children to be bored or to scream in public places, so we hand over an electronic device to amuse them. As this becomes the norm, your child learns to crave constant amusement and entertainment. Instead of having a special Disneyland experience once every few years, we’re bending over backwards to create those magical moments every day with special outings, fun food, and over-the-top parties for kids. Stop being the cruise director for your child’s life - that’s not your main job description. If your child can’t find something to do without your help or without a screen, they are headed for trouble.
2. Everyone’s a winner. A few years ago when my son was at a basketball camp, their team was matched with a much better team. After about five minutes, they turned the scoreboard off so it wouldn’t read 98:0 (or something like that!). We have done our kids a disservice by giving everyone a “participation trophy.” Life doesn’t work like that. There are winners and losers. Imagine if we stopped keeping score in professional sports. What would be the point of the game? Teach your child that self-worth is not found on the scoreboard but that he/she should always strive to do his/her best. It’s motivating to earn a trophy through sweat, effort and determination. It’s de-motivating to earn a trophy just because you showed up.
3. Feelings trump everything else. The main question these days is “How do you feel about that?” We’ve downplayed the power of the will to do the right thing even when your child doesn’t feel like it. Instead we’ve elevated feelings above all else to our great detriment. Your child may not feel like doing homework or giving grandma a hug as a CNN article wrote about. Yet it’s the right thing to do homework and hug grandmas. Your child should not learn to behave based on feelings. Ask your child “What do you think?” not “How do you feel?”
[caption id="attachment_24020" align="aligncenter" width="750"] Credit: ThinkStock[/caption]4. The Bible and prayer are largely absent from everyday life. Does your child observe you reading your Bible or praying during the day? If they only see evidence of your devotion to God a few Sundays a month for the two hours you’re at church, it isn’t enough. If you want to pass along a vibrant faith in God to your children, you must model it. You must talk about it. You can pray with your child about a struggle at school. Read a Psalm at breakfast. Memorize a verse a week together as a family. Find a person to serve together; maybe you can babysit for a single mom so she can get her shopping done alone for once. Let your children consistently see your faith in action.
5. Your marriage takes a backseat. Focus on your children first and your marriage second, and you will hurt your kids. When your kids need something for school or an activity, you’ll burn the candle at both ends to make it happen. But if your spouse needs something, you tend to think, “Take care of it yourself. I have enough to do around here!” Yet when it’s all said and done, your kids will leave your home someday and probably start their own families. Your relationship with your spouse is the most important bond that needs tending. The greatest gift you can give your kids is a strong marriage. It provides security, love, belonging, strength, and an example to follow in the future.
Which of these snags about 5 ways you may be ruining your child's life hit a nerve for you? As long as your children are living under your roof, you still have time to make positive and vital adjustments. You’re reading this article which says you care about your child and you want to learn how to parent better. Rest assured, as you pursue wisdom, you will not ruin your child’s life.
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Family Life Today, The 700 Club and Turning Point with David Jeremiah. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children. Visit Arlene’s website at www.arlenepellicane.com.
We hope you enjoyed reading 5 Ways You May Be Ruining Your Child's Life. Here's another article you may enjoy:
YOU MAY LIKE: This child says SHE HAD THE 'MEANEST MOTHER' in the world!
Credit: Crosswalk
Today's Devotional
A Prayer for Transforming Worry into Trust - Your Daily Prayer - October 24
Worrying does nothing to benefit our lives in any way; it only takes away. It takes away the present moments and present joy you could experience, not to mention it takes away from a peaceful life.
Today's Devotional
A Prayer for Transforming Worry into Trust - Your Daily Prayer - October 24
Worrying does nothing to benefit our lives in any way; it only takes away. It takes away the present moments and present joy you could experience, not to mention it takes away from a peaceful life.
Past Stories
- 6-Year-Old Starts 'Poop Scooping' Business to Help Animals and Adopt One of His Own
- Bride's dad Drops During Father-Daughter Dance, but Things Lined up Perfectly to Save His Life
- Young North Carolina Father Risked His Life To Save a Couple and Dog From a Sinking Truck
- UPS Driver Jumps into Action As He Spots Elderly Woman on the Ground & Says It Was All God
- Rescuer Braces for the Worst After Spotting Kitten on the Side of the Road, Then Sees a Paw Move
- AJ Griffin Gives Up High-Paying Career with NBA to Follow God
- These Former Conjoined Twins Finally Go Home After Their First Birthday
- Teenager From Iowa Uses His Flying Skills to Help Hurricane Helene Victims
- Son Saves For 9 Months and Surprises Mom By Paying Off Her Mortgage
- Woman's Home is Surrounded By 100 Raccoons, and They Aren't Leaving Anytime Soon
- Dog Saves Her Owner's Life By Sitting in the Middle of the Road
- Widower Shares the Last Thing His Wife Told Their Son Before She Passed Away From Cancer
- A Nurse Saved Her Life 35 Years Ago, Now, She is Surprising Her With a Visit
- These Twin Sisters Have An Important Message To Share On Their 102nd Birthday
- This Brave 5-Year-Old Saved Her Mother's Life By Calling 911
- 79-Year-Old Broke Her Ankle After Scattering Her Mom's Ashes, Then Strangers Save the Day
- Dad Travels Through Mud and Debris to Walk His Daughter Down the Aisle
- Owner's Trip to the Vet with Unwell Dog Results in the Craziest X-Ray
- After Getting Lost in Yellowstone, This Precious Cat Made His Way Back Home To California
- Mom's Funny Response To Daughter's Dirty Sock On The Floor Goes Viral & Ends Up Doing Good
- A Kidnapped Boy Is Found After 70 Years and Reunited With His Family
- This Puppy Was Found With a Note That Read 'Help Me,' Now He's Looking For a New Home
- Excited Mom Couldn't Wait to See Son's Back to School Pictures, but Funny Results Make Her LOL
- When This Police Officer Pulled Her Over, He Changed Her Life Forever
- She Just Met Her Vietnam Veteran Father After 50 Years, Now He is Walking Her Down the Aisle
- Fearless Father Waits on Porch to Catch the Stranger Peeking in His Daughter's Window
- This 5th Grade Teacher Eats Lunch In the Cafeteria Every Day
- Amy Grant Has a New Perspective After Losing Her 'Superpower' in Bike Accident
- 'God Did It' Says 18-Year-Old After Waking Up From a Coma Following a Crash
- These Four Sisters Share a Birthday, Which is Quite the Miracle
- Dad Harmony Sings a Beautiful A Cappella Rendition of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love'
- Couple's Outstanding Boogie Woogie Dance Performance
- Siblings’ Cover of Dolly Parton’s Classic ‘I Will Always Love You’ Is Incredible
- Pastor and Wife Were Killed in a Car Accident, But Their Kids Have a Message of Hope
- Outstanding 'Amazing Grace' Cover Music Video by Celtic Woman
- Carrie Underwood Helps With Leading Worship at Tennessee Church
- 8-Year-Old Kid's To-Do List Goes Viral As a Wholesome Reminder for Us All
- 'Holy Forever' Lyric Video by Chris Tomlin and CAIN
- Elementary Teacher Talks About the Power of Words and Kindness By Using Toothpaste
- Prayers Pour in for Loretta Lynn's Family After the Death of the Late Singer's First Grandchild
- Dennis Quaid Singing 'On My Way To Heaven" is an Inspiring Performance
- Charming Elderly Couple Share Sweet Dance to 'Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"
- Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick Adorably Sing a Sassy Duet to Celebrate 36 Years of Marriage
- Rory Feek Performs Beautiful Tune 'I Do' After Finding Love Again
- Driver Shows Up to Deliver Pizza to Elderly Man's House, Then Comes Back with His Lawnmower
- What Parents & Grandparents Don't Know About 'Easy' Recipe Trend Could Be Dangerous
- Nearly 1,500 Students Gather to Worship Jesus at Texas A&M Revival
- 96-Year-Old Shares the Secret to a Happy Life and His Words of Wisdom Are Truly Inspiring
- In God's Divine Timing, Wedding Ring Is Returned to Man's Widow After It's Lost for 60+ Years
- Rock Singer's Powerful Rendition of 'I Will Always Love You'
Top Music Videos
CCM Magazine Steven Curtis Chapman Shares the Heartfelt Message that Helped While Grieving His Daughter
Crowder Crowder Moving Official 'Somebody Prayed' Music Video
The Statler Brothers 'Til the Storm Passes By' The Statler Brothers Live Performance
Mandisa Mandisa - Shackles (Praise You)
Anne Wilson Anne Wilson 'The Cross' Powerful Lyric Video
Blogs
At GodTube, you’ll find daily inspirational videos to lift your spirits and encourage you in your walk with God. Popular videos include worship music from your favorite Christian artists, cute videos with adorable kids and animals, hilarious videos from Christian comedians, user-uploaded videos, and clean viral videos to brighten your day.